Jojo's Bizarre Modern Au
by Walking Along The Milkyway
Summary: When all the Joestars live together and Dio lives across the street things can get a bit...bizarre...
1. Jotaro Pt1

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF THE JOESTAR HOUSEHOLD PT. 1 JOTARO

Five 'o clock. The house is silent and the world is cold. Outside the colors in the sky are as beautiful as a Monet painting. Dr. Jotaro Joestar's consciousness was switched on the moment his alarm started going off and started to play Toshinobu Kubota's "Voodoo Woman" music he found through his half Japanese childhood friend Noriaki Kakyoin. The Japanese hip hop song reminded him that he had, again another long day ahead of him.

Jotaro stands up stretching almost instantly feeling aching in his back and neck. He groans for a number of reasons but mainly because of the pains. He reaches to turn off the alarm and he forces his eyes open and thoughts to start. Alright first step: get dressed. Jotaro, without even turning on the lights changes out of his boxers and into some jeans and a black turtle neck. Alright step two: coffee. Jotaro steps out of his room and sneaks down the stairs searching through the kitchen Jotaro realizes something. Where even is the Coffee? Ugh not again. Either Joseph was playing a prank or Aunt Lisa had managed to power through the last of the Coffee again, either way it was an inconvenience. Searching all the spots Joseph could have hid them and finding nothing Jotaro came to the hypothesis that Lisa must have used up all the coffee.

What ever its not that big of a problem. Step three: Shower? Nah Jotaro took one last night. Step four: Brush Hair? Does it matter? Step five: Brush teeth. Ok. Jotaro walks over to the bathroom grabs his tooth brush, tooth paste and starts brushing. All whilst never flipping a single light switch he knew this house by heart. Ok, so part six: Grab your stuff and go. Jotaro grabs his keys and his black brief case and walks out the door. Wait. Coat. Jotaro grabs his coat and hat.

As he steps out the door the cold December wind clashes with his warm skin. They switch temperatures and his breath becomes visible. Jotaro checks his phone. 5:27, right about on time. Jotaro cautiously presses the door closed he opens his car door and slides in the cold (luckily) fabric seats are bearable. Jotaro starts the car and instantly turns up the heater and turns down the radio. Before driving off he switches the radio to a news station. Although he didn't care much for politics it is still important to know the world you live in.

Driving to work he stops at a Starbucks although he knows Polnareff (his co-worker) will tease him for this (making him quite a hypocrite honestly) he orders a black coffee and a ham and cheese croissant. It takes Jotaro around 30 minuets to get to the local Science Center. Leaving him right on time. 6:00 am on the dot.

As he pulls into the employee parking lot he can see Polnareff standing out side taking a drag. All though scientists should know the full effects of cigarettes he and Jotaro still occasionally smoked. Stepping out of his car a small gust of wind once again hit Jotaros face making it an odd shade of rouge contrast to his somewhat tan-pale skin. He shut off the car and grabbed his brief case. Although he knew nothing would happen today and his next research trip was only in a few days he took it any way just in case. Jotaro hesitantly finished his coffee and power walked towards the back door flinching as Polnareff called for him.

"Ah, Mon Ami You're right on time! I was just about to call Kakyoin If you know what I mean oh ho ho ho ho" With his accent Polnareffs oh ho ho sounded more like a hon hon hon. But for this comment Jotaro stepped on his foot the way in making Polnareff drop his cigarette. "Oi! It was just a joke! Although everyyy one knows you two are totally hiding underneath the covers!" Jotaro was getting annoyed apperently every one in this town assumes you're gay even if you literally have a child. And even a scientist with a PHD in Engineering should know how reproduction works. Of course the possibility that he was Bi-Sexual was something every one he knew used as an argument Jotaro snapped out of these thoughts.

He sat down at his desk and set down his brief case. Polnareff walked over and leaned against the desk shifting all his weight onto his arm crossing his legs " 'ey Jotaro what'd're you going to do around 'ere any way? I mean cant you just stay home until you leave on Monday?" Jotaro started up his computer and checked his E-mail and answered his question with a question. "What do You do around here." Polnareff scoffed "You do know that the kids come to this sceince center and only really care about my machines." Jotaro wadded up a piece of extra paper and threw it at Polnareff.

Just then Kakyoin walked into Jotaros office. "Hey one of you left your cigarette still burning." Polnareff turned around fast almost twisting his damn arm. "Ehhh Sorry but Jotaro here was just telling me how hes sooo in love with yo-" Jotaro picked up an threw a pen into Polnareffs perfectly shaped chef hat mullet without looking as if with perfect precision. It got caught and Kakyoin started to snicker. Grown men with PHD's respectively in Marine Biology, Engineering and Biological/Biomedical Sciences shouldn't act like this but alas they still did. "W-what?" Polnareff skimmed his hair with his hand and found the pen. "Hey! I use at least a mini can of hair spray a week!" Kakyoin shook his head laughing pulling up an office hair "So Jotaro since we've got a trip to In a couple days what do you want to do around here?"

Jotaro logged out of his E-Mail and paused. He glanced at the clock. 6:20. The center didn't open to the public until 8:30. "Why don't we go walk around." Polnareff oooo'd the second Jotaro said we. Jotaro glared at Polnareff. Kakyoin shifted in the chair. "Sure I'll grab my sketch book maybe I can get some practice." Kakyoin stood up and went over to his office and came back with a Satchel bag. "Polnareff want to come along?" Kakyoin offered . "Oh no no I couldn't you love birds go ahead!" Jotaro felt like punching him but instead he stood up adjusted his hat and simply said "Good greif." In a passive aggressive response Jotaro says something to Kakyoin in Japanesse. "What? Oh if we're playing that game je parie tellement d'argent sur le fait que vous deux avez des relations sexuelles!" Just then Prof. Muhammad Avdol waked into the office.

"Polnareff tu oublies que je parle français." Polnareff turns another hard 180. "Ah! Avdol eh heh heh." Kakyoin and Jotaro glance at each other wondering what he even said although Jotaro could make out "Relations Sexual". Sometimes Jotaro could swear Polnareff never graduated High School and stole a PHD. Avdol looked to Jotaro and Kakyoin. "vous gaspiller de l'argent à ce sujet?" He scoffed. Polnareff dramatically gasped "Je ne gaspille pas d'argent!"

Kakyoin cut their conversation short trying not to be rude. "Er well me and Jotaro are going to go now.." Avdol noded and snuck Polnareff a dollar. "Je parie qu'ils ne le font pas." Polnareff took the dollar and pulled out a dollar from his pocket placing both a Jotaros desk smiling. "Tu vas perdre~" Avdol shook his head and walked out behind Jotaro and Kakyoin. After a second Polnareff takes the money and walked back to his own office.


	2. Jotaro Pt2

Authors Notes: I'm surprised any one has read this at all honestly, Any way with any French Italian Japanese etc. I'll have translations at the bottom (Just know 90% of the time i'm using google translate) For last chapters french I'll have those after this chapter, any way I do what I do because of viewers like you! (heh PBS was childhood)

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF THE JOESTAR HOUSEHOLD PT. 2 JOTARO

After a couple hours of going around watching Kakyoin drawing tourists the center closed from the public. It was 5:00 now on usual days Jotaro would stay behind another hour doing things he wouldn't do at home such as bills or paperwork just about anything really. The Joestar household was the exact opposite of serine especially on a Friday.

Jotaro sat down at his desk starting up his computer. Maybe going home early wouldn't be a bad idea. The more Jotaro thought about it the pros did out weigh the cons. Not but much but still. Jotaro turned off his computer and grabbed his stuff. He snuck out the back there was a slight breeze this winter wasn't particularly cold or warm it was a bit odd really.

Jotaro started up the car and turned down the heat and turned the radio up. He switched it to 90's on 9 for a bit of nostalgia. It had been awile since Jotaro came home early he wondered what everyone else was doing around this time. Instant images of Jolyne yelling at the girl down the street, Josuke very loudly playing video games with his friends, the old man and his loud voice ranting about something on tv, Josephs equally loud voice whining at Caesar etc. etc. filled Jotaros mind.

Maybe coming home early would be a mistake. As Jotaro pulls into the driveway he can already tell something happened. Usually Jolyne would play outside with the other kids on the block but today the only kids outside where her usual friends "FF" and er Hermes? And some other kids doing something out on the front lawn of that god forsaken Brando Household.

Jotaro stepped out of his car and as he approached the door he could spot Dio Brando power walking across the street like an angry soccer mom at a PTA meeting about to tell Helen why her Gluten Free Grass Cakes are much healthier. Jotaro quickly opened the door walked inside and slammed it hoping that by some miracle Dio would go away. But just as he set his brief case down near the coat rack there was a knock on the door. Ugh.

Jotaro opened the door and immediately regretted it. The moment Jotaro saw Dio he started spewing. "Jotaro you need to start disciplining that daughter of yours she hit my Giorno with a baseball I swear if this happens again-" Jotaro slowly closed the door but the exact moment he did there was another knock on the door. Jotaro considered the options and decided to just walk away Dio would leave eventually. Jotaro noticed it was a bit quieter than usual.

The only loud noises being Gigi watching some Adam Sandler movie at full volume and his full volume laughter. Jotaro decided to investigate where everyone was. Standing in the door way he could see Aunt Lisa working on paperwork at the dinner table, Gigi watching Tv, his mother talking with his grandmother, and his great grandparents siting in their chairs enjoying each others company.

Jotaro walked further finding Johnny in the kitchen rummaging through the fridge he must've just come home from Harness Racing Practice. Past the kitchen was Jolynes room. Jotaro decided to ask her about the situation later. He could tell she was in her room based on the Ke$ha playing mildly loud.

Across the house was Johnny and Josuke's room along with Josephs room. Holly noticing Jotaro making his way towards the rooms she pauses her conversation and walks over to him. "Looking for someone?" Jotaro turned to Holly and simply said "Josuke." Holly replied instantly with a smile. "Oh! He went to some Christmas festival thing with his Friends." Jotaro nodded and waved his hand dismissing her away. Jotaro then walked towards Josephs room he was oddly quiet- wait. Jotaro walked into the mini hall way. Jotaro instantly regretted this and walked away. He wasn't sure what he expected from two 17 year old boys that wore crop tops in a room together with the door closed but still.

That was every one. Jotaro walked back over to Jolynes room she was now listening to Britney Spears. He knocked on her door. "WHAT?!" Jolyne had a tendency to be rude to her elders. Jotaro opened the door. "Jolyne did you hit the kid across the street?" Jotaro's conversations with his daughter where very straight to the point. "Ughhh I was aiming for Gwess's window." Jotaro didn't really understand why she was so bitter towards him maybe it was because he was always gone on research missions regardless Jotaro didn't really know how to respond.

"Ok." He walked away. As Jotaro walked away he could hear her singing a bit louder. Jotaro didn't have much control over his daughter, his Grandmother and his mother usually could "tame" her. Luckily she was only 10.

Sufficiently bored Jotaro sat down at the table where Lisa was still doing paper work. He glanced to her. Lisa noticed him out of the corner of her eye. "I used up the last of the instant coffee if you where wondering... you know the problem with a successful Real Estate business..." She shifted her papers. "Is that there's a shit ton of paper work." she continued. Just then Suzie Q walked over to the table. "Alright Lisa, Jotaro time to clear the table dinners just about ready!" She made an L with her hand and winked with a smile. Lisa sighed and put all her papers in to a folder stood up and walked away. "Thank youuuuu~!" Jotaro could see the similarities in his mother and his grandmother and at times Jolyne.

A few minuets later dinner was ready and every one (except Josuke who was still gone) sat at the table. Including Josephs "Friend" Caesar. As Holly and Suzie Passed around plates Johnny wheeled over to Jonathan and Erina and handed them their plates. Despite being 87 and 86 they still were pretty articulate. Johnny being helped into a chair was the last one to the table.

Conversations at Joestar dinners usually went like how they did tonight: "So Jolyne did you do your homework?" Holly would ask. "No" Jolyne would answer. "Well when you finish dinner be sure you do it ok?" Holly would respond. "ok" Jolyne would say with no promise in her voice. Holly would turn to Johnny "Have you?" Johnny would fiddle around with his food. "Yeah I did my homework and Gyros at practice." Caesar (who practically lived with with the Joestars) perked his head up hearing his cousins name. "You do Gyro's homework?" Caesar would ask confused. "Yeaah why?" Johnny would respond. "Then who's homework am I doing? Well besides Jojo's." Jolyne would snicker and Lisa would finish dinner quietly and continue working on her paper work on the couch. Gigi would burst out laughing and start ranting on about how 'back in the day' he would never do his homework and how even so he carried his fathers Real Estate business on his back etc. etc. etc.

All went about normally until the third angry knock on the door of the day. "I'll get it" Jotaro blurted out if it was Dio again he wanted to be the one to sock him. Jotaro opened the door and it wasn't Dio but Josuke's history teacher Yoshikage Kira holding Josuke by the arm. "Is this the Joestar residence?" Jotaro nodded his head "Well I caught Josuke here drinking underage with a couple of his friends, I didnt call the police of course because everyone deserves a second chance but if this happens again i'm calling the police!" Jotaro just nodded his head and let Josuke in. He'd let the Old man lecture him on this one.

|To Be Continued

Notes: Alright A couple things, One I changed the family tree to fit the au and there's two Josephs because I couldn't pick one or the other, Two Jolyne's Music Taste is based off my music taste when I was 10, Three Translations (in order):

I'm betting money that you two have sex!

Polnareff you forget that I speak French

you're wasting money on this?

I bet they do not do it

You will lose ~

(Also any characters you want to see? Just write a review and tell me and or any situations/scenarios)


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